Sedih

Sedih. Terlampau sedih.

Hati bagai dihiris2.

At some points, we just have to be honest on certain unhappy situation.

When some point u feel like u've been taken for granted, salah ke kalau kita nk bersuara sikit? 

All this while, i've been keeping to myself.

Tapi bila my conditions rite now does not permit me to do certain things, salah ke kalau kita nk bersuara mintak bantuan?

Kenapa takde perasaan kesian walaupun sikit? #seriousifeelsosad 

The moment u said those things to me, for so many times already, i made my mind. 

And after for so many times such things happened, u simply apologise and ask me to forget about it. Forget the things that u said.

I didnt ask much. Please understand my condition and susah sgt ke nk faham dan jaga hati seorang perempuan?

*takde tempat nak mengadu*

Kisah semalam

Al-kisah malam semalam, dari pukul 2.30pagi tak boleh nk tido. Pusing kiri pusing kanan still tak boleh tido. Pastu tengok anak yg sedap je tido, rasa geram pulak.. Iyela bila dia dh tido, kita pulak tak boleh nak tido. Bila pk2 balik, rasanya sebab lapar kot.. Memang malam semalam tak dinner pon. Last makan pon, kat rumah mak, request mak buat pengat pisang.. tiba2 teringin makan pengat pisang pulak. Pastu balik rumah lepas maghrib, terus takde mood nak buat pape. Dah la tengah moody.. tak tau pasal apa tiba2 boleh moody. Sebab hormone kot.. Dah tu lepas Iman dah tido, pukul 10-11mlm i pulak tido.. tu yg pukul 2.30pagi tu terbangun.. Agak2 lagi 5 minit pukul 4pagi, mmg surrender laaa! Tak boleh jadi ni. Terus bangun masuk dapor, buat milo and cicah roti 2 keping. Lepas makan tu, terus doa, mintak2 la boleh tido.. Alhamdulillah.. finally boleh tido.. Kesian baby dalam perot, dia lapar kot. Hurmm, tak baik kan.. masa tak dinner tu, tak pk pon pasal baby.. lepas ni tobat la.. kalau moody macam mana sekali pon, tetap kene makan demi baby dlm perot ni… Sorry sayang, mummy tak buat lagi lepas ni k :(

Give up

It has been the past 2 days and I was about to feel giving up last nite. 

I feel so tired and dont know what to do anymore. 

Feel like running away :( 

Oh Allah, please give me strength :(

Kecoh!

Semalam satu office kecoh! Kecoh sebab ape? 

Sebab leave plan hilang.. duhhh!!!

Leave plan je kot...

Masalahnya P nk tgk leave plan tu... Kalau x, ngamok la dia...

Kisahnya ada yg tak puas hati bila ada member yg cuti 2 minggu straight 

sampai tahun depan..

Haihhhhhh.. 

Benda kecik je  pon.. Takyah nk kecoh2, ko apply je cuti, kalau mgr ko dh approved or TERRRR-approved nasib la kan :) Cabut je... muahahaha

Yg aku ni pulak bila nk cuti pon tak tau. Cuti ada lagi 6 hari.. Mula2 plan nk jual, sbb record MC 4 hari je for this year. Sekali nasib tak menyebelahi 

bila last 2 weeks kene warded 4 hari. 

Sekian wassalam.

Nak tanak kene la habiskan.....

p/s: nk habiskan pon nk buat ape? nk pegi mana? sheila takde :( hashtag boring...

Ain't memory

It is heartbreaking when u can’t let go everything..

When u really wanna explain the feeling..

which

When a feeling

in reality still exist, 

it is not a memory..

(just can’t agree with this)

PCB yg Sombong!

Perempuan cina bukit yg bodoh sombong!

Mula2 malas nk pk pasal minah ni tp makin lama makin menjadi2 plak dia..

First time la jumpa pompuan mcm ni, nk kata ko tak educated, ko jadi Head of the Unit kot, keje pon bukan calang2 bank, bahasa omputih pon semua ko pandai..category berhabok laaa... tapi otak ko tu tak selevel dgn education yg ko ada..

Terpk jugak mcm mana ko boleh jadi Head bila ko sendiri tak boleh nk control ko punya emotion maturity. Sikit2 nk sentap, sikit nk sentap, apehallllll….??!

Yg lagi tak boleh blah first time la jumpa pompuan cina yg kaki putar belit.. ingat kan golongan kap lam ye nge je.. rupanya org ca ya nun alip pon ada.. 

malu kan kaum ko je weyhhh!

Kitorg kat sini mmg strictly professional, kalau ko x suka cara kitorang, ko tak payah nk susah2 call DD kitorang nk ngadu. DD kitorg pon dh tau perangai ko tu..

The best part, lepas perang email jumaat lepas, maka dah cukup bukti kitorang utk present perangai buruk ko tu kat CEO ko tak lama lagi. Kitorg dh bagi byk chance dah tapi ko mmg sejenis dan sespesis makhluk yg tak kenal diuntung, tak sedar diri dan macam manager aku ckp la, ko ni sesuai dipanggil BAHALOL..

bukan aku yg cakap ar, manager aku yg cakap..

So bersiap sedia la ye.

Tak sabar aku nk prepare presentation slides KHAS utk ko.

#nomorechance

#manusiamcmnimmgkenaajar

Kami yg stress

Halo! Halo!

Berjumpa lagi kita di hari yg berbahagia ni (bahagia la SGT)..

Hurmmm.. sebenarnya sebab musabab di sebalik tertulisnya entry hari ni kerana…………
kitorg satu office tak boleh nk buat kerja… system down lagi dan lagi dan lagi… 
kira dh level2 nazak la jugak.. tunggu nk meninggal je system ni.. stress betol..  
takde la nk ckp yg kitorg ni giler buat keje kannn tp bila dh byk yg overdue, sape yg tak stress. nanti bila system dh ok, haaa amik kau.. 
yg nk kene process tu berlambak giler kot! 
Masa tu mula la sorang2 start maki, carut semua ada… wakaka… lantak korang laaa...
skrg ni nampaknya masih di peringkat yg boleh bersabar lagi la…

Anyway, esok Jumaat! Yayyy!!! Tak zabarrrrnyaaaaa… 
Selalunya hari jumaat mmg hari yg ditunggu2.. Best woo! 
Hari jumaat ni terasa kejaaaaaaaap sgt, pastu lunch plak laaaaaamaaaaaaaa sgt… Meriah uols!!!! 
Cakap pasal jumaat, esok iols ada date okay… 
ada org tu teringin nk makan embun menitis katanya.. ikut suka dia laaa.. 
kita bawak je… ngandong ke hapee budak tu.. Ish!

So now? What now? Apa yg kita nk buat ni… ada lagi 2 jam nk kene tggu.. pastu pukul 5 tepat, kita zasssssss!!!! Cabut balik rumah! Singgah beli rotiboy baru amik Iman.. lalalalala =)

Okbai! xoxo

Fly-day!

Happy Flyday uols!!!

Why today is fly-day ar? Because ar today I cannot do work maa. 

System down. As usual.

So today I wanna “fly” out early for lunch. Huhu.

Today where to? Sunway Putra, SOGO, The Curve? Hurmmm…

But in the same time, I feel like i wanna sleep, I feel so so sooooo sleepy :(

What an empty office…

Since tomorrow is Deepavali, ramai pulak org yg amik cuti..

Half is on leave and another half have left for Bali.. Untung la boleh join ICBG..

Ok la ok la.. Nk buzz off kejap.. Power nap omputih kata.. hiuhiuhiu..

Daaaaaa….

Aku harus JUJUR

Maafkan kali iniAku harus jujurKau harus tahu siapaAku sebenarnya

Terpikir dalam benakkuTentang cinta terlarangSelama ini ku pendam

Jangan salahkan keadaan ini sayangSemua adalah keterbatasanku sajaTak mampu menjadi yang kau mauAku mencoba dan aku tak mampu

Tak bisa lagi mencintaimuDengan sisi lainkuAku tak sanggup menjadi biasaAku tak sanggup....

Tak ada satu pun yang mungkin bisaTerima kau seperti akuKu mohon jangan salahkan aku lagiIni aku yang sebenarnya....

Tak mampu menjadi yang kau mauAku mencoba dan aku tak mampu

Aku tak sanggup..

Maafkan kali iniAKU HARUS JUJUR :(

Post yg semakin merundum!

Sedihnya tgk list of entry kat column belah kanan tu. Makin lama makin entry setiap bulan.

June 6, July 1, August 2, Sept hampeh, kosong terus…

Apa la nak jadi dgn ko ni nadia oiii….

Semua tak dan. Semua dh tak aktif. Jangan kata diary ni je, fb, ig, twitter semua mcm dah hidup segan mati tak mau… Apesal? Apesal?

Hurm…. Byk sebab asabab nya sebenarnya.. tp biarlah hati ini saje yg tau…. Hashtag muka sedih!

Sebulan sudah...

Dah sebulan tinggalkan diary ni. Sepanjang bulan puasa, raya, lepas raya, semua pon tak sempat nk jengok diary ni. Busy sgt ni. Al maklum la pekerja contoh la katakana.. Haketuihhh!!! Hahaha.. Ok ok, serious ok.. actually mmg betol pon.. Busy dgn keje. Sampai je office, byk benda kene setel.. Punya la kusyuk, tup tup dah lunch time.. Kadang2 keluar lunch, kadang2 tapau je.. bila dh sambung buat keje, kusyuk lagi, tup tup dah sampai time nk kene balik. I pulak kene balik on time, sharp 5.30 okayyy.. Sebabnya I kene pikap Iman kat school. Tau la area office ni. Ada 8 fasa jem kene tempuh.. Kadang2 tu mcm siput gerak.. 0-10km/j jugak la.. Seteresssssss…..!!! But Alhamdulillah, I managed la dgn rutin harian macam ni.. Cuma tak sempat nak bersosial dgn kawan2, dgn media sosial.. sosial sgt kan.. lol! So, ni pon, gigih ok cari ruang dan peluang utk hapdet diary. Kalau tak, mimpi ke sudah la.. Sekian.. Nak jugak hapdet pasal raya, pasal openhouse, tapiiiiii, bak kata org nogori, den tak sompek laaaa…. Nanti2 la eh..

*Fuhhh! Dapat tulis 150 patah perkataan nip on dh kira satu kejayaan tau! Hoorayyy!!!!

Failed?

Should i consider myself failed as the presentation did not turned out well...?

It didnt even started yet.. Slashhhhh!

Well, its okay.. Life goes on...

Its a learning process anyway..

Chill.. 

xoxo

Good luck to me!

Finally, hari yg ditunggu2 telah tiba. Presentation to P. Tunggu la sgt. Cuak kot!

Wish me luck uolls! ;)

ANYWAY

If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.

If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.

For you see, in the end, it is between you and God.

Cuak!

Cuak weiii... Cuak yg berpanjangan...

Dari sehari ke sehari scheduled presentation to P kene postponed due to unforeseen situations.

Mentally dh prepare kot tapi bila dh kene reschedule, terus lemau balik.

Pastu mula la cuak balik malam sebelum and pagi sebelum presentation.

Kenapa they all buat iols macam ni? Mencik laaa..

Patut nya last Friday, pastu tukar hari ni, tau2 pagi ni dpt email, tukar esok pulak..Apehallll!!!! (versi shuib) ekeke..

Ok la ok la.. Malas nk pk.. Skrg ni iols nk layan lagu raya... Okbaiiii!

Missing my cinsss!

Dua

Dulu kita terpaksa akur dan mengalah pada situasi…

Segalanya suratan pedihnya ditelan

Dipisahkan lautan hilanglah khabar daku mengubah haluan

Walaupun daku sedar dan tahu

Tiada wanita di dunia standing mu

Tiba-tiba tak diduga dikau berdiri di hadapan mata

Mengembalikan nostalgia memori bersama

Membisu seribu makna rahsia terbenam di dada

Tak ku sedar sekali lagi

Ku jatuh hati dengan kewanitaanmu

Pada malam yang sempurna keanggunan lembut bicara

Kita berdua bagai rela jatuh cinta untuk kali ke-2

Kehadiran  di sisiku, disaat ku perlukan teman yg setia

Melenyapkan delima yg melanda

Walaupun seketika kau bawa harapan

Sememangnya ku sedar dan tahu

Tiada wanita di dunia standing mu

Tiba-tiba hati berdebar apabila mata bertentang mata

Detik romantic kini bersemi cinta dua hati

Mengerti tanpa berbicara perasaan suci kita

Alhamdulillah

Alhamdulillah

Currently we managed to get a place for Iman. A child care center that is near to our house. My concerns are I could not afford to drive Iman back with me if I were to fetch her from somewhere near to my office area. I've sent her to Tunas and Parlimen before, both are just 10-20 minutes away from my office but………..BUT when she is already with me, we, I repeat, WE have to face the traffic jam together. This is my main concern. She could not stand the traffic!! What more if the traffic takes about an hour. So I had a tough time (more like kelam kabut time) fetching Iman from Tunas sharp at 5pm, and then rush back home. I have to ensure that i'm already out of the town area and be on AKLEH by 5.20pm (masa tu traffic belom start) and when I manage to do that as my daily routine, I should have self-declared myself as a successful mummy :) There was once when we both had been caught in a traffic jam along mrr2 hulu kelang, Iman cried like crazy and I need to stop for three times to pacify her. So a big big NO, no more that kind of experience in my life. Very terrifying moment. Now, we send her to a child care located at Ukay Perdana. Just 5-10 minutes from our home and the best part is no traffic and if she cries, its just few minutes of crying (tak la horrible sgt sampai nk terkeluar anak tekak dia tu). Again, alhamdulillah.

p/s: its a relieved moment more for me because i'm the one who will be doing the sending and fetching her to and from ‘school’. Her dad will always have this ‘balik lambat thingy’. Its ok, shes my daughter, my nyawa, my everything.

Mummy loves u forever syg…. <3

That moment....

*One of the Friday, at SK*

That moment when I saw him, i just trembled, just don't know what my actual feeling was, i was happy but was a bit sad at the same time, the mixed feelings made me sweat. The feelings went up to the head, the mind and the soul but fortunate enough, I manage to control.

The day that I saw him, although just for few seconds, it made me smiled for the rest of my night.

Behind the numbers

Behind the numbers, hidden millions of memories that was treasured.

In life...

In life, we have...

Unspeakable secret

Irreversible regret

Irreplaceable loss

Unreachable dream

Unforgettable love